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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

WELL IT'S BEEN A WHILE...

Salam warahmatullahiwabarakatuh.

I know it's been a long time I've left this blog unattended. First and foremost, my deepest apology if I ever fail to return anyone's kindest visits and follow-me's. I've been away for quite a while for the very same reason I started this blog.

I started this blog since I felt compelled to tell my stories-my family stories, to be exact. Living with not one but two sufferers of a very rare disease known as Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy [DMD] made me felt somewhat, responsible to at least, record my family stories in this blogging way, especially after the day my 5th brother was hospitalized due to breathing difficulty. The incident made me realize that I should do at least something for him before it's too late. So I ended up starting this blog around January 2009 in which my first entry was about me and of course, my siblings.

The years went by and this blog became somewhat rojak, a mixed up of everything in one place. It became my great escape when I cannot access my Facebook account from work due to the firewall and such, a best friend when I needed to pour my heart out, a platform for me to share about anything I needed to share about, it went far from the real purpose I set this blog up at the first place.

Now that the very person that became the very reason I started this blog is gone, I felt guilty for being so very selfish and easily distracted that I lost my way during blogging.

The very person is my 5th brother [I'm the eldest in the siblings of 6], Ahmad Nazeem bin Mohamad Salim a.k.a Amil, whose demise is greatly missed.

He's been sick for a while and warded since June 26th, 2011 before leaving us on the July 30th, 2011, only two days away from Ramadhan, due to failed respiratory as a result of DMD he's been suffering from since he was 9 or 10.

He's 18 but due to his health condition and slight autism, he seemed way younger and much more child like than his 2nd brother was :)

My 2nd brother, a handsome guy and much more mature than I am [yeah my attitude said a lot of that :P], Ahmad Munir bin Mohamad Salim a.k.a Abang, had suffered from DMD too and passed away on February 1st, 2006 at the age of 22. He was only hospitalized for one night and passed the next morning all so suddenly, making me feel so damn guilty and unforgiving to my own self until today, 'cause I thought that I was a huge failure to him, I didn't do anything meaningful nor helpful for him while he was alive.

I felt and still feel like a huge waste of energy and youth. That's the reason why I decided to give my all [of course, with the help from my husband] when Amil was hospitalized the other day.

Yes, with all the medical attention and treatment, he went away nonetheless. From God we came, to God we return.

That's why I've been away from the Internet - I still have this big, black hole inside of me right from the day my 5th and only remaining brother was taken away, until these days.

So again, deepest apology from me for being away too long.

If you must, just send me the Facebook friend request. I'm much more a Facebooker than a blogger that I should've been.

Until then, thanks and salam wbt.



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