.: COUNTLESS THANKS TO :.

Friday, January 8, 2010

THE POWER OF GOODBYE

The celebrated one, with the white scarf : Fizah
Lady in the brown scarf : Kak Imah
Lady in the pink scarf : Kak Syikin
Photographed by : Me

I'm not talking about Madonna's song from the album Ray of Light. This is actually about having a hard-earned, rarely found friendship and losing it due to causes, either inevitably or predicted ones. In this case, it's both.

The story began with a girl named Fizah came and worked as a Technical Asst. in my office 2 years ago. It took me quite a while to get used to her presence and we clicked after few months she reported duty. She's hilarious, dramatic [now you know why I can befriended her LOL!], reasonable, open-minded, thoughtful and underneath her simple look joined with her brutally honest words, she's actually a warm, kind person one can ever wished for as a friend. Anyway, long story short, she managed to land herself to a permanent post in her hometown, far away in Perak and we managed to set up a party to bid her farewell.

Her final day, 31st of December 2009 was filled with hugs & kisses from the fellow female colleagues, young and old. Reminiscing the days she was here, spent with all the sweat, blood and tears in this mind-challenging, psychologically ravaging department. Laughing to jokes we used to share. Remembering all the things we used to do and talked about our fears of the awkwardness after she's gone. I waited in the office until everyone's home that evening. I thought I could lend her a hand in packing her stuff, but she said she's okay with it. Hungry, I ordered McDonalds for both of us and we ate dinner in the room we used to eat in. For the first time, it felt kinda awkward at most of the time. I don't know, it's just that, all of sudden the thoughts of she's not gonna be around just made me stopped in awkward silence few too many times that evening.

She asked me to gave her a ride home, considering she's brought quite a handful stuff with her and train ride+walking home is just not the right thing to do that New Year's eve. Agreed to send her but weirdly, I can't feel a thing in my heart nor in my mind. It's like time was moving quite slowly that night. We rode on my bike and chatted at the same time. The nearer we became to her house, the more I can't feel anything. It's like my mind was numb at the time.

Dropped her in front of her rented flat in Kg. Bharu, we talked for the last time. Asked her for forgiveness if I ever did her wrong, so on and so forth. Wished her the best. Prayed for her to be strong leaving KL for a much more smaller town. Tried hard not to cry after seeing her teary eyes and hearing her choked on words.

I rode home feeling more empty than ever.

Some thought I was too cold about her leaving. That I don't have any feelings of sadness or whatsoever. Just because I was just acting like usual, like nothing's happened.

But I believe, she knew all along about how I was feeling and dealing with it. 'cause I know she's just the same, too.

Thanks to you Nurhafizah Maarop @ Maamor for the beautifully chaotic friendship, even it's just for only 2 short and precise year. Good friend is really hard to come by, and I cherished all the moments of up and downs of life we spent together.

I believe she'd get all the best of things in life and be blessed by her parents' and her loved ones' love.

Thanks for reading about the truth of letting go of something we used to hold so dearly, not because of we lose it but because we believe that letting go is much more easy to be done than having to face each day in misery just because we refuse to accept that things happen for reasons. Usually the reasons are beyond our mere human abilities and I am just glad she finally got her big break.

We may be states apart dear, but, there's Facebook, right? :)

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